Running on an angel's wings in the Philly Marathon

It’s been a long time since I last blogged, but I did not want this final day of the year to pass without sharing my last marathon experience.

Farah Jadran's Philly Marathon finisher's medal!

While this was not my fastest marathon or my best overall experience, it was one of the most powerful ones I have ever run.

As you might remember, my last marathon, San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll on June 2, was a fantastic run. I ran a 3:33:33 and felt strong even after a hilly course challenged every part of my body and mind. However, the next marathon would not go as planned…

I began preparing for the 2013 Philly Marathon in late July, only to find myself injured after a triathlon and missing more and more training runs because I was so busy with work. I was sleeping less each night and feeling less confident in my ability to break 3:30 with every week that passed.

I was weak, slow and scared. A marathon is not a 5k or 10k that can be “eeked out” with some general mileage base and heart and soul. You can’t cheat a marathon and all that it has in its power to play with your mind.

Like my San Diego run, I was raising awareness and funds for Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness of CNY for my Teal Mission to Philly. The mission was going strong and we again raised a lot of money for a great cause.

Raising funds is one part of the mission. After that, raising awareness leading up to the marathon and also during it, is the next part of the mission. Finally, completing the marathon itself rounds out the mission. I knew that that final step was going to be tough.

Within six weeks of the marathon, I only hit 18 miles and 20 miles once each and managed a 16-miler on a few occasions with time and energy dictating those runs.

The date of the Philly Marathon was set for Sunday, Nov. 17, and it was meaningful because it would fall only a few days after the anniversary of the passing of Heather Weeks. Heather was the inspiration for the start of the non-profit organization. It was her hope to find a cure for ovarian cancer and to raise awareness among women for this silent killer.

As Heather’s mother, Frieda, would say and remind me… “Heather got her angel wings on Nov. 14.”

Knowing that I would run this marathon three days after Heather’s angel anniversary made me hopeful that I could actually complete this marathon and that I would complete the Teal Mission.

About five days prior to the race, Frieda told me not to worry and then she told me, “You’re running on angel’s wings.” She meant that Heather would be there with me.

On the morning of Nov. 17, someone asked me, “Are you ready for your marathon?” Without hesitation, I broke down and I began crying. No, I was not ready. In fact, I could have gone back to sleep.

I thankfully slept for seven hours the night before the marathon, but when I woke up at 4:30 a.m., I would have gladly gone back to sleep for seven more. But that is not what the mission is about. I was tired. But that didn't matter. I was there to fight. I was there to raise awareness and turn the city of Philadelphia teal.

I continued to feel scared upon arriving to the starting line in downtown Philly. I was worried that I would not be able to finish the race once I started.

Since I was there with a goal to PR, I ran stubborn and went out at the pace I wanted to keep to break 3:30…but, I did this knowing that it wouldn’t last. I knew I would most likely fall off this pace. Nevertheless, I wanted to try.

By the time I made it to my starting corral, I already felt more scared and apprehensive. 

The gun went off, and I began to pray, literally. I probably said more than 500 Hail Mary’s and Our Father prayers during the marathon.

Each time I made it to another mile, I said, “Thank you,” out loud.

By the time I reached mile 8, I knew I was in trouble. I was going to have to power through 18 more miles with no gas in the tank. My mind was tired and my body was farther gone.

With all the running chips stacked up against me, I knew I had to continue fighting for the Teal Warriors and to bring the Hope for Heather mission across the finish line. I passed out ovarian cancer awareness symptom cards to spectators and at water stations, too. This was my focus.

The Philly Marathon also has a half-marathon, and this factor did not help me. When you are about to hit mile 12, the half runners go to the right and the marathoners (and me) go to the left. I could see the finish line and I looked at my watch… I could PR my 13.1 time, but that’s not going to happen. I am going to run 26.2 miles and knowingly get slower and not PR at all.

I continued on my path and said goodbye to the finish line.

The feet that completed the feat.

It’s at this point that I started to notice that there was one familiar name being called out very often as I was running.  

Everyone has their name printed on their official marathon bibs, so every now and then I hear a cheer with my name in it, but more often than anything, I hear another name being cheered for…

“Go Heather!”

The first time I heard it, I looked to see who it was. It was a woman in red that I was passing. Then, a few miles later, I heard it again, but this time it was a different woman. 

After that, I continued to hear many cheers for different women named Heather for the duration of the marathon.

It gave me chills the first time because I knew I was hearing this name for a reason. But when I kept hearing it, I knew that it was happening so that I would keep pushing forward.

As I prayed and heard Heather’s name being called around me, I started to feel a light pressure upon both of my shoulder blades. You can make your own assumption to what that might have meant, but I took it to mean precisely what Frieda had told me prior to this day ― I was indeed running on an angel’s wings ─ Heather's angel wings.

I continued to run with this spiritual power inside me because I definitely had no physical power at this point…which was around mile 15. I still had double digit miles to complete and the certainty that I could finish started to grow.

While I did get slower, more miles than others, I felt that I would make it to the finish line. I was grateful to complete each mile. When I got to mile 16, I said, “Thank you.” And then I said, “Please, just get me to mile 17.” And I did this with every mile marker, until there were no more to be crossed.

I had pain in my legs like I’ve never had before but my heart was filled with hope. During the final mile, I was in disbelief that this horrific battle was almost (and finally) over. I struggled the most I ever have in the final stretch. I had cramps in both legs and I fought past the famous knee-buckling action that hunts down marathoners in the final 800 meters.

But with all my prayers, supporters of the cause and the power of the angels ― I did it. I ran 26.2 miles without stopping, without walking and without falling short of the goal to raise ovarian cancer awareness.

I crossed the finish line in 3:44:33, which is exactly 11 minutes slower than my run on a harder and much hillier San Diego course only five months prior.

I ended up running a solid time despite my lack of training, rest and overall confidence. And I ran a time that still snuck in as my third (out of four) overall fastest marathon times.

If you’re a runner, missing a PR is tough, but I made peace with this “loss” long before the race was over. My goal turned into the desire to finish and stay standing.

When I was finally out of the finishing area, I said this out loud, “That was the hardest thing I have ever done.” And in many ways it was, at that moment. I will have many more “hardest ever” moments in my life, but for now, this one tops them all. I was so frightened by the 26.2-mile feat that I have completed before and I was not sure if I was going to make it.

This marathon taught me that anything is possible, even the impossible.

I wish you all runners and non-runners the best on this New Year's Eve and here's to 2014!

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you!