Lost faith restored with a new vision

Mary Nelson to build homeless youth shelter

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

It’s been a tremendous journey for Mary Nelson since September of 2014 when the Syracuse community witnessed a visit from Oprah Winfrey.

During this short visit to the Salt City, Oprah stopped by the Mary Nelson Youth Center where she made a very public donation of $100,000.

While Nelson initially planned to put the donation toward construction of a basketball court for youth – a life-changing moment changed not only the plans for the center, but her outlook in general.

On Dec. 24, 2014, Nelson’s brother James “Jake” Brown Jr. was found murdered in his home. She admits the tragedy altered her perspective.

“Have I lost faith for awhile? I did,” Nelson said. “I lost faith. I really did.”

Mary Nelson alongside her brother, James "Jake" Brown 

Nelson said she was disgusted and hurt as she mourned the loss of her brother. Her brother was known for helping others and providing food and shelter in his home to others in need on a regular basis, but his life was lost to crime and violence.

“I was angry,” she said.

Over the past few months, Nelson reached out to fellow trusted community leaders looking for guidance on what to do next.

While the loss of her brother proved to be tolling on her plans for the center, Nelson said many of her confidants, including Oprah, encouraged her and echoed similar sentiments: “You’ve come too far to give up now, Mary.”

Nelson took a closer look at what her community truly needed and how to best utilize Oprah’s donation. She decided that was no longer a basketball court adjacent to the center, but rather it would be the need for establishing shelter for homeless youth.

“My vision right now…is to take those four rooms and build a shelter, no basketball court…put that money to good use,” Nelson said.

Mary Nelson explains how one of four offices in the center
will soon become part of the homeless youth shelter.

After further review of the current space at the Mary Nelson Youth Center, she noted that there was the opportunity to make way for 10 bunk beds that would provide a place for 20 youth to lay their heads at night. Installing shower facilities would also be a part of the renovation for the shelter.  

Nelson said her reasoning was confirmed further when she viewed the presence of a basketball court possibly welcoming crime and violence.

Even though the Mary Nelson Youth Center is open 24 hours a day with at least one staff member on hand, it was deemed impossible to have the court monitored at all times.

While a court for the city’s youth could cause crime, Nelson said homeless youth could find a safe haven inside the center.

Youth mentor Damon Gilstrap and Mary Nelson

Nelson is currently reviewing bids for the construction and renovations that will take place in the rear portion of the center. She said the goal would be to have the beds and shelter area ready by Thanksgiving of this year.

Although Nelson says she is pleased to have existing office-space to convert into the youth shelter area, she is still open to the possibility of acquiring the neighboring vacant lot – whether it’s affordable for purchase or if someone donated it to help the kids.

The additional space would provide room to renovate the common spaces and the kitchen area, according to Nelson. Currently, the Mary Nelson Youth Center provides food for local families every Tuesday with donations from Wegmans.

While Nelson said she was never looking for someone like Oprah to make such a large donation to the center, it has now become her renewed mission to combat what she believes to be a problem in her community – homeless youth.

“When you have a faith and you believe in something,” Nelson said. “You have to hold that faith.”

For more information about the Mary Nelson Youth Center, stop by 2849 S. Salina St. in Syracuse. Learn more about the author by following her on Twitter at @FarahJadran.

Her Legacy: Live like you're LIVING

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

"I want my legacy to be how I lived, not how I died." - Ann Marie Stonecypher

This sentiment is simple, but powerful. Whether we are battling cancer for more than decade or just battling everyday challenges, I would like to imagine that we all maintain similar basic goals.

Goal 1: Feel the warmth of gratitude in our hearts on each morning we wake up.
Goal 2: Say, "I love you," daily to those we care about.
Goal 3: Live like you are living.

It may sound like a broken record when we constantly remind one another to be grateful or to look on the "bright side" of a bad situation, but why do we always need the reminders? It's simple, we are human and we tend to not know what we have in the present until it's gone and forgotten in the past.

We are guilty of this forgetful and selfish demeanor at one time or another, but we can change that.

I've had the grand opportunity to know Ann Marie as a friend, to interview her for a magazine cover story, and to hear her speak before so many people. No matter how many times I hear some form of her message, I am always filled with the inspiration and the hope that one day we will all live like we are living and always live in the present.

She captivated  cancer survivors at a Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness event and shared her message of living life. Her friendship with H4H founder Frieda Weeks has been an incredible force that I have blessed to witnessed. That friendship and loyalty alone could move mountains and it’s certainly stood the battle of cancer many times and even the loss of a child.

Can you imagine how strong all friendships could be if we lived in the present and acted with genuine care at all times? It’s a powerful thought.

If you watch this video clip of Ann Marie's speech at the 2015 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Syracuse, you will hear speak of gratitude, love and hope, but most of all, she will challenge you.

This post was inspired by a recent lively photo I saw of Ann Marie and Rob Bick. At first glance, I saw gratitude, love and hope. Her smile exudes a powerful message: I am living life.

The pure joy on their faces says it all. How could you not be grateful, lively and in love, and happy to be in the moment?

Photo by Solon Quinn / solonquinnphotography.com

If you've never met Ann Marie or didn't know anything about her battles with cancer, you absolutely would not know that she indeed has cancer. Why? Because it's not what her life is about. She is a successful businesswoman, a proud mother of two, a community leader and a genuine friend, but there's still more to be said about Ann Marie as she truly lives each day of her life to the fullest.

"Cancer's still not in charge, I am," Ann Marie shared with the crowd at the Race for the Cure. "Cancer's a big thing, but it's still just one thing."

This photo spoke to me in many ways. Are you living your life today? Are you grateful for the love in your life? Are you hopeful for another day in your life?

It could be so easy to get down and as they say, "throw a pity party" for one's self, but why would you want to waste time doing that? You have this beautiful (literally) once-in-a-lifetime opportunity right here and now.

Tomorrow is promised to no one, but today is happening right now!

Challenge yourself to live life and to walk away from pity party habits. Yes, my car could break down, one of my dogs could chew up a personal belonging and yes, I may encounter an unkind person today, but I am alive to witness these events and for that, I am grateful that I am living my life.

One day, we could all be proud to leave such a beautiful legacy – to be remembered for how we lived, not how we died.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.