Cancer is not a game - "I played the cancer card," she said.

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

My family and my loved ones have been touched by cancer. I have been touched by cancer. You have been touched by cancer and the strangers you encounter have also been touched by cancer.

It is for these reasons that I have no time or patience for petty problems. For that matter, there is no room for disrespectful commentary around the conversation of cancer.

More than 10 months ago, I came in contact with a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. She proudly explained to me how she "played the cancer card" in her workplace. 

I wish I had a mirror in front of me at that moment because I can only imagine my expression. My jaw was certainly on the floor. My state of shock was quickly followed by complete disgust. 

Her "game-playing" scored her the opportunity "to cross off a bucket-list item" while vying for a desired promotion. To this day, I still cannot fathom a motive of this nature and I certainly cannot believe someone would make such statements to someone they had  just met.

I know it does not need to be said, but for the sake of this experience, I will share this:

Cancer is not a game. It's not fun and it's not a novelty. Ribbons of any color do not cure the disease and it's non-discriminatory. My father has it, I had it, my friends have it, you have it and that stranger has it. People die after battling cancer every day and from my recollection -- they do not let go saying, "I wish I played a different hand or picked another card from the game board pile."

No, this is simply not the case at all. I keep this woman in my thoughts hoping that she finds her way...one day.

However, it was that very first statement that has only proven her disregard for others. It was a sad day when I heard those words and saw the piercing look in her eyes after I shared my own brushes with cancer, both personal and of loved ones. I still wonder, what type of person says that? And more importantly, who thinks it's OK to "play" a cancer card?

For more than two years I have been representing Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness and we are on a mission to educate others about symptoms and early detection. We are one a mission to support those who are fighting and those who are mourning a loss. Lastly, we are fundraising to find a cure for this silent killer.

Hope for Heather was started by Gary and Frieda Weeks to memorialize the legacy of their daughter, Heather, who was focused on raising ovarian cancer awareness and raising funds for research. Sadly, Heather's legacy began after a hard-fought battle ended to colon cancer at the age of 24.

I didn't get the chance to ask Heather if she wished she had played the "game" differently, but I know from her final journal posts, and from her parents, that this was not a game -- it was anything but that.

Cancer is not a game. Cancer is the enemy and you are in a fight for your life. When someone "loses" a cancer battle -- they fought with everything and it's the people around them who must carry on. We mourn the death of this loved one and we search for reasoning. Rather, it's not a loss for them, it's a hard-fought battle in which we will celebrate their life and their legacy.

No matter what, we know we were not sitting at a card table hoping to "play the cancer card" or spin the wheel of life. We are in this together.

I maintain hope that the card-player finds her way and realizes that life is not a game, cancer is not a game and the people around her are not chips to be played. 

We are given one life and we must live it with respect, good character and a genuine heart, Will you find your zest for life and live it like you're living? Now, it's her turn.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.

Her Legacy: Live like you're LIVING

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

"I want my legacy to be how I lived, not how I died." - Ann Marie Stonecypher

This sentiment is simple, but powerful. Whether we are battling cancer for more than decade or just battling everyday challenges, I would like to imagine that we all maintain similar basic goals.

Goal 1: Feel the warmth of gratitude in our hearts on each morning we wake up.
Goal 2: Say, "I love you," daily to those we care about.
Goal 3: Live like you are living.

It may sound like a broken record when we constantly remind one another to be grateful or to look on the "bright side" of a bad situation, but why do we always need the reminders? It's simple, we are human and we tend to not know what we have in the present until it's gone and forgotten in the past.

We are guilty of this forgetful and selfish demeanor at one time or another, but we can change that.

I've had the grand opportunity to know Ann Marie as a friend, to interview her for a magazine cover story, and to hear her speak before so many people. No matter how many times I hear some form of her message, I am always filled with the inspiration and the hope that one day we will all live like we are living and always live in the present.

She captivated  cancer survivors at a Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness event and shared her message of living life. Her friendship with H4H founder Frieda Weeks has been an incredible force that I have blessed to witnessed. That friendship and loyalty alone could move mountains and it’s certainly stood the battle of cancer many times and even the loss of a child.

Can you imagine how strong all friendships could be if we lived in the present and acted with genuine care at all times? It’s a powerful thought.

If you watch this video clip of Ann Marie's speech at the 2015 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Syracuse, you will hear speak of gratitude, love and hope, but most of all, she will challenge you.

This post was inspired by a recent lively photo I saw of Ann Marie and Rob Bick. At first glance, I saw gratitude, love and hope. Her smile exudes a powerful message: I am living life.

The pure joy on their faces says it all. How could you not be grateful, lively and in love, and happy to be in the moment?

Photo by Solon Quinn / solonquinnphotography.com

If you've never met Ann Marie or didn't know anything about her battles with cancer, you absolutely would not know that she indeed has cancer. Why? Because it's not what her life is about. She is a successful businesswoman, a proud mother of two, a community leader and a genuine friend, but there's still more to be said about Ann Marie as she truly lives each day of her life to the fullest.

"Cancer's still not in charge, I am," Ann Marie shared with the crowd at the Race for the Cure. "Cancer's a big thing, but it's still just one thing."

This photo spoke to me in many ways. Are you living your life today? Are you grateful for the love in your life? Are you hopeful for another day in your life?

It could be so easy to get down and as they say, "throw a pity party" for one's self, but why would you want to waste time doing that? You have this beautiful (literally) once-in-a-lifetime opportunity right here and now.

Tomorrow is promised to no one, but today is happening right now!

Challenge yourself to live life and to walk away from pity party habits. Yes, my car could break down, one of my dogs could chew up a personal belonging and yes, I may encounter an unkind person today, but I am alive to witness these events and for that, I am grateful that I am living my life.

One day, we could all be proud to leave such a beautiful legacy – to be remembered for how we lived, not how we died.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.

Tell a woman because it could save her life

Tell a woman because you love her. Tell a woman because she means the world to you. Tell a woman because it could save her life.

Ovarian cancer symptoms are all too common. Along with these common symptoms comes our tendency to put others first. We may ignore our bodies and our health altogether. I have been guilty of this many times.

In my nearly three years of working very closely with the organization and its volunteers at Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness, I have come to learn the importance of being an advocate for my own health. Also, it's become a part of my everyday life to encourage others to do the same.

These common symptoms include bloating, difficult menstrual cycles, headaches, unusual weight gain, sleepless nights, sense of urgency or higher frequency to urinate, abdominal pain, difficulty eating or feeling full quickly. Sound familiar?

These symptoms have happened to all of us. I know I've experienced a few here and there. If you have experienced these, did you think anything "more" could be happening? I've had many women tell me, "I thought it was just common to go through these things...we're women. Isn't that normal?"

At times, it could be "nothing" ― but at other times, it might be "something" more.

I have lost track of the number of women who told me that a symptom card from Hope for Heather saved their lives, or that hearing testimony from a survivor gave them a push in the right direction.

Inspiration is powerful. I know firsthand that inspiration has prompted many women to finally take a look at their own health and maybe even recognize some lingering symptoms. Regardless, they took charge. I took charge.

We only have one body. We only have one life.

For all of us, there are many people who are counting on us and people who care about health. It is important to pay attention to our health the way that our loved ones do and we must be ready to fight if we are sent to a battle.

Tell a woman because she has one body. Tell a woman because she has one life. Tell a woman because it could save her life.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Farah F. Jadran is the media spokeswoman for Hope for Heather. She shares her interests on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Pinterest — @FarahJadran.

Turning Philly TEAL this November

Since I became a runner almost 20 years ago, I have run many races including parochial and public school x-country and track races, and also some collegiate ones. And I have run numerous road races ranging from the distance of a 5K to a full marathon.

Each one has a memory. Each one has a “story” whether it’s about the weather, being sick, running with an injury or how awesome it was when I out-kicked someone after battling for a 3200-meter victory on the track.

Now, I am past the grade school, high school and brief collegiate racing days, and I have found that marathon running has brought me the most joy. Having mentioned that each race has a story ― you better believe that each marathon has a story ― a very, very long story! However, it’s that long story and those hours of running that have meant the most to me. I am out there against the elements, whatever they may be that day, but most importantly I am out there battling my own mental and physical strength.

In my very first blog post, I discussed my passion for helping spread ovarian cancer awareness. My drive and commitment for this awareness mission is only growing. Hope For Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness of CNY asked me to be their media spokeswoman this past April and since then, it has been an honor to carry out this mission. I wore the ovarian cancer awareness color, teal, during my first Marathon Mission that I led to San Diego. That marathon was my third full marathon overall, but it was my first marathon where I had a cause wrapped around my heart.

After crossing the line in San Diego, I knew that my next marathon would also need to be TEAL because the awareness is only beginning and the research is still underway. My next TEAL Marathon Mission will take place in Philadelphia this November.

In Philly, I will carry out my mission and work so that more women are aware, conversations with doctors are happening and that research is properly funded. Recently, I spoke to the Hope For Heather executive director, Frieda Weeks, and we decided that as a group we can complete this mission. We will help more women know the symptoms of ovarian cancer. We will spread educational material so that women are aware of testing they can request. And someday, we will find a cure and have a prevention tool for this “silent killer” of a disease. While running a marathon has its painful moments, it’s nothing like knowing that women are going up against chemotherapy, radiation and more…and they’re beating it.

That’s why I am starting my Philly TEAL Marathon Mission now… Because every woman’s life saved is another grandmother, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, niece or friend that is given the opportunity to embrace every day with her loved ones.

You can join this mission by sponsoring this next marathon in support of the cause or in honor of a survivor or an angel. No matter what, you are making a difference.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you! 

The first day: Far, far away... By Farah

Photo: Cindy Bell/Styling: Antonietta Moritz

For my first post on my new blog, "Far, far away... By Farah" ― I want to share some thoughts about my most recent Marathon Mission experience ― the Rock 'N' Roll San Diego Marathon on June 2.

As you follow my blog and read along, you will notice that there will be writing many posts about running, but especially marathon running. I have developed a great respect for the distance (26.2 miles) through the training it requires. Also, the post-race feelings of accomplishment and euphoria have become two of my favorite things in the world.

During this quest to improve upon my two previous marathon times: Chicago 2011 - 3:51:40 and Chicago 2012 - 3:44:04; I had an added mission for this race. (I will get into those two other marathon experiences on another day.)

I was delighted by the community’s support. I ended up completing the San Diego Marathon (26.2 miles of hilly passion!) with a new personal best (3:33:33) and I reached a fundraising total of more than the original goal! Every time my legs wanted me to quit — I thought of all the sponsors, the survivors and the angels, in which I was running for.

Along the course, I was handing out some teal ribbons and awareness cards. Plus, some runners around me asked about the messages on my race bibs and my race top. I felt honored to share my knowledge on the disease so that others became aware. What you can cover in conversation over 26.2 miles will amaze any non-runner.

Channeling the strength of a woman who was fighting many rounds of chemotherapy made the long climb on some of those California hills seem like nothing compared to her battle. And it was nothing, my pain was fleeting and her strength is unending. I crossed the line with so much hope, pride and passion.

My next Marathon Mission will take place on Nov. 17 at the Philadelphia Marathon, where I will be spreading awareness, raising funds and turning Philly a bright shade of TEAL for ovarian cancer awareness!

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you!