Cancer is not a game - "I played the cancer card," she said.

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

My family and my loved ones have been touched by cancer. I have been touched by cancer. You have been touched by cancer and the strangers you encounter have also been touched by cancer.

It is for these reasons that I have no time or patience for petty problems. For that matter, there is no room for disrespectful commentary around the conversation of cancer.

More than 10 months ago, I came in contact with a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. She proudly explained to me how she "played the cancer card" in her workplace. 

I wish I had a mirror in front of me at that moment because I can only imagine my expression. My jaw was certainly on the floor. My state of shock was quickly followed by complete disgust. 

Her "game-playing" scored her the opportunity "to cross off a bucket-list item" while vying for a desired promotion. To this day, I still cannot fathom a motive of this nature and I certainly cannot believe someone would make such statements to someone they had  just met.

I know it does not need to be said, but for the sake of this experience, I will share this:

Cancer is not a game. It's not fun and it's not a novelty. Ribbons of any color do not cure the disease and it's non-discriminatory. My father has it, I had it, my friends have it, you have it and that stranger has it. People die after battling cancer every day and from my recollection -- they do not let go saying, "I wish I played a different hand or picked another card from the game board pile."

No, this is simply not the case at all. I keep this woman in my thoughts hoping that she finds her way...one day.

However, it was that very first statement that has only proven her disregard for others. It was a sad day when I heard those words and saw the piercing look in her eyes after I shared my own brushes with cancer, both personal and of loved ones. I still wonder, what type of person says that? And more importantly, who thinks it's OK to "play" a cancer card?

For more than two years I have been representing Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness and we are on a mission to educate others about symptoms and early detection. We are one a mission to support those who are fighting and those who are mourning a loss. Lastly, we are fundraising to find a cure for this silent killer.

Hope for Heather was started by Gary and Frieda Weeks to memorialize the legacy of their daughter, Heather, who was focused on raising ovarian cancer awareness and raising funds for research. Sadly, Heather's legacy began after a hard-fought battle ended to colon cancer at the age of 24.

I didn't get the chance to ask Heather if she wished she had played the "game" differently, but I know from her final journal posts, and from her parents, that this was not a game -- it was anything but that.

Cancer is not a game. Cancer is the enemy and you are in a fight for your life. When someone "loses" a cancer battle -- they fought with everything and it's the people around them who must carry on. We mourn the death of this loved one and we search for reasoning. Rather, it's not a loss for them, it's a hard-fought battle in which we will celebrate their life and their legacy.

No matter what, we know we were not sitting at a card table hoping to "play the cancer card" or spin the wheel of life. We are in this together.

I maintain hope that the card-player finds her way and realizes that life is not a game, cancer is not a game and the people around her are not chips to be played. 

We are given one life and we must live it with respect, good character and a genuine heart, Will you find your zest for life and live it like you're living? Now, it's her turn.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.