Cancer is not a game - "I played the cancer card," she said.

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

My family and my loved ones have been touched by cancer. I have been touched by cancer. You have been touched by cancer and the strangers you encounter have also been touched by cancer.

It is for these reasons that I have no time or patience for petty problems. For that matter, there is no room for disrespectful commentary around the conversation of cancer.

More than 10 months ago, I came in contact with a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. She proudly explained to me how she "played the cancer card" in her workplace. 

I wish I had a mirror in front of me at that moment because I can only imagine my expression. My jaw was certainly on the floor. My state of shock was quickly followed by complete disgust. 

Her "game-playing" scored her the opportunity "to cross off a bucket-list item" while vying for a desired promotion. To this day, I still cannot fathom a motive of this nature and I certainly cannot believe someone would make such statements to someone they had  just met.

I know it does not need to be said, but for the sake of this experience, I will share this:

Cancer is not a game. It's not fun and it's not a novelty. Ribbons of any color do not cure the disease and it's non-discriminatory. My father has it, I had it, my friends have it, you have it and that stranger has it. People die after battling cancer every day and from my recollection -- they do not let go saying, "I wish I played a different hand or picked another card from the game board pile."

No, this is simply not the case at all. I keep this woman in my thoughts hoping that she finds her way...one day.

However, it was that very first statement that has only proven her disregard for others. It was a sad day when I heard those words and saw the piercing look in her eyes after I shared my own brushes with cancer, both personal and of loved ones. I still wonder, what type of person says that? And more importantly, who thinks it's OK to "play" a cancer card?

For more than two years I have been representing Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness and we are on a mission to educate others about symptoms and early detection. We are one a mission to support those who are fighting and those who are mourning a loss. Lastly, we are fundraising to find a cure for this silent killer.

Hope for Heather was started by Gary and Frieda Weeks to memorialize the legacy of their daughter, Heather, who was focused on raising ovarian cancer awareness and raising funds for research. Sadly, Heather's legacy began after a hard-fought battle ended to colon cancer at the age of 24.

I didn't get the chance to ask Heather if she wished she had played the "game" differently, but I know from her final journal posts, and from her parents, that this was not a game -- it was anything but that.

Cancer is not a game. Cancer is the enemy and you are in a fight for your life. When someone "loses" a cancer battle -- they fought with everything and it's the people around them who must carry on. We mourn the death of this loved one and we search for reasoning. Rather, it's not a loss for them, it's a hard-fought battle in which we will celebrate their life and their legacy.

No matter what, we know we were not sitting at a card table hoping to "play the cancer card" or spin the wheel of life. We are in this together.

I maintain hope that the card-player finds her way and realizes that life is not a game, cancer is not a game and the people around her are not chips to be played. 

We are given one life and we must live it with respect, good character and a genuine heart, Will you find your zest for life and live it like you're living? Now, it's her turn.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.

Bridal Shower DIY: Coffee Beans, Burlap & Brooches

There are countless options for beautiful bridal shower decor and favors, but like anything else — there's far more satisfaction when you DIY. 

After much internal brainstorming, I found the inspiration for a beautiful shower that would be made possible on a budget.

Centerpieces

I wanted the centerpieces to be simple, pretty and inexpensive for my bridal shower at the Craftsman Inn. 

Touches of gold will be featured in my wedding day ensemble and throughout the entire wedding, so I also wanted to incorporate this into the shower's theme. 

Less is more. Since the brunch being served during the shower was the top priority, I didn't want the centerpieces to clutter the tables.

Monograms are big in the bridal scene and this was a fun opportunity to feature one gold "F" on each table. I rounded up 10 cardboard craft letters ($2.49 each) and one can of gold spray paint. A little bit of powdery glitter and six bags of clear crystals and jewels ($2.99 a bag) and the centerpieces were ready to go!

Favors

Have you ever gone to a party — a wedding, a shower or even a birthday party — where you received a favor that you knew you wouldn't use? With my focus on pretty and practical for the favors, I knew that I wanted to provide something that would be a useful keepsake. 

In addition to the useful coffee mug (100 mugs for under $100) that would feature a simple design, the favor would include one of my favorite things — coffee! The coffee was not only a "must" because it's one of my favorite beverages, but it was purchased from Cafe at 407, which benefits a non-profit (Ophelia's Place) that I support as a body image advocate and also as a board member.

I bought five pounds of Guatemalan coffee beans ($64.95) from Cafe at 407 to fill burlap bags. Since I couldn't locate any cost-effective bags — a few rolls of burlap material (Buy 1 Get 1 at $4.99) were transformed into burlap bags...after a very motivated bridesmaid sewed them!

Enough coffee beans for a couples cups of coffee were placed in each burlap bag and then tied with some tan and gold ribbon (a few rolls totaling $6) with a "thank you" tag personally stamped by yours truly. 

The coffee not only looked great in the burlap, but it smelled divine and of course, it was delicious!

Brooches

OK, so I did not make any brooches, but I did include my bridal shower guests in a very special wedding moment.

Along with the shower invitation, guests also received a little instruction. I asked each guest to bring either a jewel or a gem, a pair of sparkly earrings or a brooch — all pieces that will eventually be used to create my wedding day brooch bouquet. I also specified a few colors to keep in mind: gold, tangerine, fuchsia pink and light yellow.

Many guests surprised me with their heartfelt gestures by bringing me a grandmother's brooch, a jewelry piece that they wore to a special occasion, and many others that included a personal message or a note that explained why the piece was "meant to be" for my wedding day.

In the end, this will become a DIY project that will truly hold a special place in my heart when I walk down the aisle on May 2, 2015.


Until the big day...

I look forward to the final months of planning, and also the anticipation.

Most of all — I am grateful to have my loving family and friends surrounding me as I approach the day I will marry my wonderful husband-to-be.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you!

Bride-to-be Farah F. Jadran shares her wedding plans, interests and other delightful happenings on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Pinterest — @FarahJadran.