Cancer is not a game - "I played the cancer card," she said.

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

My family and my loved ones have been touched by cancer. I have been touched by cancer. You have been touched by cancer and the strangers you encounter have also been touched by cancer.

It is for these reasons that I have no time or patience for petty problems. For that matter, there is no room for disrespectful commentary around the conversation of cancer.

More than 10 months ago, I came in contact with a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. She proudly explained to me how she "played the cancer card" in her workplace. 

I wish I had a mirror in front of me at that moment because I can only imagine my expression. My jaw was certainly on the floor. My state of shock was quickly followed by complete disgust. 

Her "game-playing" scored her the opportunity "to cross off a bucket-list item" while vying for a desired promotion. To this day, I still cannot fathom a motive of this nature and I certainly cannot believe someone would make such statements to someone they had  just met.

I know it does not need to be said, but for the sake of this experience, I will share this:

Cancer is not a game. It's not fun and it's not a novelty. Ribbons of any color do not cure the disease and it's non-discriminatory. My father has it, I had it, my friends have it, you have it and that stranger has it. People die after battling cancer every day and from my recollection -- they do not let go saying, "I wish I played a different hand or picked another card from the game board pile."

No, this is simply not the case at all. I keep this woman in my thoughts hoping that she finds her way...one day.

However, it was that very first statement that has only proven her disregard for others. It was a sad day when I heard those words and saw the piercing look in her eyes after I shared my own brushes with cancer, both personal and of loved ones. I still wonder, what type of person says that? And more importantly, who thinks it's OK to "play" a cancer card?

For more than two years I have been representing Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness and we are on a mission to educate others about symptoms and early detection. We are one a mission to support those who are fighting and those who are mourning a loss. Lastly, we are fundraising to find a cure for this silent killer.

Hope for Heather was started by Gary and Frieda Weeks to memorialize the legacy of their daughter, Heather, who was focused on raising ovarian cancer awareness and raising funds for research. Sadly, Heather's legacy began after a hard-fought battle ended to colon cancer at the age of 24.

I didn't get the chance to ask Heather if she wished she had played the "game" differently, but I know from her final journal posts, and from her parents, that this was not a game -- it was anything but that.

Cancer is not a game. Cancer is the enemy and you are in a fight for your life. When someone "loses" a cancer battle -- they fought with everything and it's the people around them who must carry on. We mourn the death of this loved one and we search for reasoning. Rather, it's not a loss for them, it's a hard-fought battle in which we will celebrate their life and their legacy.

No matter what, we know we were not sitting at a card table hoping to "play the cancer card" or spin the wheel of life. We are in this together.

I maintain hope that the card-player finds her way and realizes that life is not a game, cancer is not a game and the people around her are not chips to be played. 

We are given one life and we must live it with respect, good character and a genuine heart, Will you find your zest for life and live it like you're living? Now, it's her turn.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.

Lost faith restored with a new vision

Mary Nelson to build homeless youth shelter

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

It’s been a tremendous journey for Mary Nelson since September of 2014 when the Syracuse community witnessed a visit from Oprah Winfrey.

During this short visit to the Salt City, Oprah stopped by the Mary Nelson Youth Center where she made a very public donation of $100,000.

While Nelson initially planned to put the donation toward construction of a basketball court for youth – a life-changing moment changed not only the plans for the center, but her outlook in general.

On Dec. 24, 2014, Nelson’s brother James “Jake” Brown Jr. was found murdered in his home. She admits the tragedy altered her perspective.

“Have I lost faith for awhile? I did,” Nelson said. “I lost faith. I really did.”

Mary Nelson alongside her brother, James "Jake" Brown 

Nelson said she was disgusted and hurt as she mourned the loss of her brother. Her brother was known for helping others and providing food and shelter in his home to others in need on a regular basis, but his life was lost to crime and violence.

“I was angry,” she said.

Over the past few months, Nelson reached out to fellow trusted community leaders looking for guidance on what to do next.

While the loss of her brother proved to be tolling on her plans for the center, Nelson said many of her confidants, including Oprah, encouraged her and echoed similar sentiments: “You’ve come too far to give up now, Mary.”

Nelson took a closer look at what her community truly needed and how to best utilize Oprah’s donation. She decided that was no longer a basketball court adjacent to the center, but rather it would be the need for establishing shelter for homeless youth.

“My vision right now…is to take those four rooms and build a shelter, no basketball court…put that money to good use,” Nelson said.

Mary Nelson explains how one of four offices in the center
will soon become part of the homeless youth shelter.

After further review of the current space at the Mary Nelson Youth Center, she noted that there was the opportunity to make way for 10 bunk beds that would provide a place for 20 youth to lay their heads at night. Installing shower facilities would also be a part of the renovation for the shelter.  

Nelson said her reasoning was confirmed further when she viewed the presence of a basketball court possibly welcoming crime and violence.

Even though the Mary Nelson Youth Center is open 24 hours a day with at least one staff member on hand, it was deemed impossible to have the court monitored at all times.

While a court for the city’s youth could cause crime, Nelson said homeless youth could find a safe haven inside the center.

Youth mentor Damon Gilstrap and Mary Nelson

Nelson is currently reviewing bids for the construction and renovations that will take place in the rear portion of the center. She said the goal would be to have the beds and shelter area ready by Thanksgiving of this year.

Although Nelson says she is pleased to have existing office-space to convert into the youth shelter area, she is still open to the possibility of acquiring the neighboring vacant lot – whether it’s affordable for purchase or if someone donated it to help the kids.

The additional space would provide room to renovate the common spaces and the kitchen area, according to Nelson. Currently, the Mary Nelson Youth Center provides food for local families every Tuesday with donations from Wegmans.

While Nelson said she was never looking for someone like Oprah to make such a large donation to the center, it has now become her renewed mission to combat what she believes to be a problem in her community – homeless youth.

“When you have a faith and you believe in something,” Nelson said. “You have to hold that faith.”

For more information about the Mary Nelson Youth Center, stop by 2849 S. Salina St. in Syracuse. Learn more about the author by following her on Twitter at @FarahJadran.

Her Legacy: Live like you're LIVING

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

"I want my legacy to be how I lived, not how I died." - Ann Marie Stonecypher

This sentiment is simple, but powerful. Whether we are battling cancer for more than decade or just battling everyday challenges, I would like to imagine that we all maintain similar basic goals.

Goal 1: Feel the warmth of gratitude in our hearts on each morning we wake up.
Goal 2: Say, "I love you," daily to those we care about.
Goal 3: Live like you are living.

It may sound like a broken record when we constantly remind one another to be grateful or to look on the "bright side" of a bad situation, but why do we always need the reminders? It's simple, we are human and we tend to not know what we have in the present until it's gone and forgotten in the past.

We are guilty of this forgetful and selfish demeanor at one time or another, but we can change that.

I've had the grand opportunity to know Ann Marie as a friend, to interview her for a magazine cover story, and to hear her speak before so many people. No matter how many times I hear some form of her message, I am always filled with the inspiration and the hope that one day we will all live like we are living and always live in the present.

She captivated  cancer survivors at a Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness event and shared her message of living life. Her friendship with H4H founder Frieda Weeks has been an incredible force that I have blessed to witnessed. That friendship and loyalty alone could move mountains and it’s certainly stood the battle of cancer many times and even the loss of a child.

Can you imagine how strong all friendships could be if we lived in the present and acted with genuine care at all times? It’s a powerful thought.

If you watch this video clip of Ann Marie's speech at the 2015 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Syracuse, you will hear speak of gratitude, love and hope, but most of all, she will challenge you.

This post was inspired by a recent lively photo I saw of Ann Marie and Rob Bick. At first glance, I saw gratitude, love and hope. Her smile exudes a powerful message: I am living life.

The pure joy on their faces says it all. How could you not be grateful, lively and in love, and happy to be in the moment?

Photo by Solon Quinn / solonquinnphotography.com

If you've never met Ann Marie or didn't know anything about her battles with cancer, you absolutely would not know that she indeed has cancer. Why? Because it's not what her life is about. She is a successful businesswoman, a proud mother of two, a community leader and a genuine friend, but there's still more to be said about Ann Marie as she truly lives each day of her life to the fullest.

"Cancer's still not in charge, I am," Ann Marie shared with the crowd at the Race for the Cure. "Cancer's a big thing, but it's still just one thing."

This photo spoke to me in many ways. Are you living your life today? Are you grateful for the love in your life? Are you hopeful for another day in your life?

It could be so easy to get down and as they say, "throw a pity party" for one's self, but why would you want to waste time doing that? You have this beautiful (literally) once-in-a-lifetime opportunity right here and now.

Tomorrow is promised to no one, but today is happening right now!

Challenge yourself to live life and to walk away from pity party habits. Yes, my car could break down, one of my dogs could chew up a personal belonging and yes, I may encounter an unkind person today, but I am alive to witness these events and for that, I am grateful that I am living my life.

One day, we could all be proud to leave such a beautiful legacy – to be remembered for how we lived, not how we died.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Follow Hope for Heather on Facebook and Twitter and learn more about ovarian cancer awareness – a mission that I am proud to represent as media spokeswoman.

More than meets the eye — the gown, the veil, the jewels & the shoes

Bliss Bridal is located at 4 W. Genesee St., Baldwinsville, NY; (315) 638-5200

There are countless TV shows that depict the good, the bad and the ugly of what it is to find the gown. By “the gown” — I am of course referring to that dress that makes you feel special and the most beautiful you have ever felt in your life — your wedding dress.

So much goes into the overall effort — definitely more than meets the eye. From one blushing bride to another, I wish you all a beautiful experience like I had. 

Lucky for me, finding my wedding gown was not only easy, but it was a fun and fascinating experience. After sharing a few thoughts about the styles I like, Gina Bush, owner of Bliss Bridal & Formal Wear in Baldwinsville, N.Y., took matters into her own hands. She researched my best options and sent me photos of dresses she had in her store and also a few that could be ordered, if need be. She truly understood my style and also the look I wanted to achieve on my wedding day.

Gina is truly exceptional at what she does and it shows in the way she treats each of her clients with care. She wants to help all of us feel like that fairy tale bride we have all dreamed of and she never misses the mark.

Necklace by Elisha Joy Jewelry Boutique

Also, I must mention that Gina took the same approach when helping me select the dress for my wedding party. With all the styles, swatches and fabrics ready to go, I made a selection in less than an hour. Again, it was a positive experience and I couldn’t be happier with my choice in the end. Each and every bridesmaid looks stunning in the selected style and that makes me one happy bride!

When it came time to decide from my final four of wedding gowns, I actually made my ultimate decision based on the fact that the Bliss seamstress, Wendy, was going to tweak some aspects of the dress and truly create my dream dress. While some brides might view this as a gamble, I viewed it as an adventure! Over the course of a few months and some exciting trips to Bliss to see Wendy for fittings, I started to see my dream (dress) come true. I started to imagine what I would look like on my wedding day and that was definitely an exciting feeling.

Gina even helped me find the best look for my veil and shoes within the beautiful selection she has at Bliss — talk about a one-stop shop for everything I needed.

(Note: Our wedding bands along with my engagement ring were designed and purchased from Welch & Co. Jewelers! Owners Dan and Luz Welch did an amazing job on our wedding bands. They were also part of making our engagement night so special. Needles to say, I love my engagement ring!)

In addition to finding the perfect gown with the help of both Gina and Wendy, I was also lucky enough to Elisha Joy Jewelry Boutique. I tried on quite a few pairs of beautiful chandelier earrings, but I did find the pair that added the right amount of glamour. Along with the earrings, there is one other amazing accessory that Elisha created for me, but I must keep that one a secret until the big day! (I still want my groom-to-be to be completely surprised for my walk down the aisle!)

Accessories by Elisha Joy Jewelry Boutique

find the perfect accessories through an exclusive Bliss Bridal partner —

I recommend any and all brides and bridal parties visit Bliss Bridal & Formal Wear because the time and attention to detail are impeccable. From choosing my dress, veil and shoes, to the alterations (which I truly believe were a thing of magic), and finding the right accessories — everything simply fell into place. I could truly feel genuine interest and dedication from Gina, Wendy and Elisha.  

In addition to my extended “thank you” messages — I am still figuring out how to fully show my gratitude to each of these ladies for their time and talents, but also their good hearts.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you!

Bride-to-be Farah F. Jadran shares her wedding plans, interests and other delightful happenings on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Pinterest — @FarahJadran.

Farah Jadran - TV News Reporter/Anchor & Magazine Editor Demo Reel

I'm sharing more than eight years of experience in print and broadcast journalism, public speaking, and also digital and social media platforms. 

This newsreel is a short compilation of my media management roles as a magazine editor, TV news anchor and host, reporter and producer. 

Find out more at farahjadran.wix.com/farahjadran or email me at farah.jadran@gmail.com. 

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Farah F. Jadran is the media spokeswoman for Hope for Heather. She shares her interests on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Pinterest — @FarahJadran.

Not just a crow... 'Beacon' of hope

"Beacon"

Meet "Beacon"... 

Just before 8 o'clock  this morning, I was leaving the bank drive-through when I came around a turn to see three large crows pecking at something on the ground. 

At first I thought it was some food or trash feast they had found, but after a closer glance, I stopped my car. It was not a piece of trash, it was a smaller crow (which I am now calling "Beacon") and he was still alive. Beacon was moving his head around, trying to get off his back and letting out a desperate caw. 

I was horrified by this sight. 

I must preface that the only reason I took a photo of Beacon while he was lying on his back was because the wildlife rehabilitator had advised me to do so. It was important to her that she confirm it was indeed a crow I had found. Apparently, crows do not usually attack one another – in fact, it's unusual, she said. On my own account, I believe that the three larger crows came upon a smaller injured crow and the commonality of the species was no longer a factor. Again, that's my opinion from what I witnessed.

I noticed right away that Beacon's wing had been broken and he was pinned to the ground by the three other crows. Sadly,  it appeared he would be eaten alive. Inside his bad wing joint I saw blood and some exposed bone from the pecking. 

I parked my car and scared away the crows, and then contacted a wildlife rehabilitation number to see if they took in birds of all kinds, which thankfully they did. The reason I asked is because I didn't want to hear that no one would take the bird because he didn't fit the traditional wildlife categories I found on the website.

I stayed with Beacon for more than 30 minutes while I secured a place that would take him. My fiancé, Niko, arrived shortly after with a box for Beacon's transport. I used a small blanket to cover him before moving him in to the box and making sure he was not on his back anymore. 

Niko drove Beacon to the rescue and since arriving to work this morning, I have learned that he's going to make it. They are certain his wounds and the wing will heal.

Why am I sharing this? Because all animals deserve to be helped and deserve to live until it's their time to pass on. 

I named him Beacon because after a run-in with a road-rager on my to the bank – this little guy appeared to me as a "beacon of hope and life." It baffled me that some people wake up and have that much angst over a four-way stop not "going their way" – or whatever triggered this person (with a young child in the car) to flip me off with an exceptionally "mean" look on her face.

I couldn't just drive by and forget about his pain and suffering while the other crows attacked him.

And the more I look at this photo, the more meaning I see in his extended broken wing...

Again, Beacon shouldn't be viewed as "just a crow" – it's an animal with a life and all animal lives should matter, no matter what.

For whatever reason, I was meant to drive by and witness this, and yes, this out of the ordinary of what I normally write about  here, but I am a lover of all animals and that includes Beacon. 

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

For more of my daily posts, follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Vine and Pinterest at @FarahJadran. 

Tell a woman because it could save her life

Tell a woman because you love her. Tell a woman because she means the world to you. Tell a woman because it could save her life.

Ovarian cancer symptoms are all too common. Along with these common symptoms comes our tendency to put others first. We may ignore our bodies and our health altogether. I have been guilty of this many times.

In my nearly three years of working very closely with the organization and its volunteers at Hope for Heather Ovarian Cancer Awareness, I have come to learn the importance of being an advocate for my own health. Also, it's become a part of my everyday life to encourage others to do the same.

These common symptoms include bloating, difficult menstrual cycles, headaches, unusual weight gain, sleepless nights, sense of urgency or higher frequency to urinate, abdominal pain, difficulty eating or feeling full quickly. Sound familiar?

These symptoms have happened to all of us. I know I've experienced a few here and there. If you have experienced these, did you think anything "more" could be happening? I've had many women tell me, "I thought it was just common to go through these things...we're women. Isn't that normal?"

At times, it could be "nothing" ― but at other times, it might be "something" more.

I have lost track of the number of women who told me that a symptom card from Hope for Heather saved their lives, or that hearing testimony from a survivor gave them a push in the right direction.

Inspiration is powerful. I know firsthand that inspiration has prompted many women to finally take a look at their own health and maybe even recognize some lingering symptoms. Regardless, they took charge. I took charge.

We only have one body. We only have one life.

For all of us, there are many people who are counting on us and people who care about health. It is important to pay attention to our health the way that our loved ones do and we must be ready to fight if we are sent to a battle.

Tell a woman because she has one body. Tell a woman because she has one life. Tell a woman because it could save her life.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you.

Farah F. Jadran is the media spokeswoman for Hope for Heather. She shares her interests on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Pinterest — @FarahJadran.

Bridal Shower DIY: Coffee Beans, Burlap & Brooches

There are countless options for beautiful bridal shower decor and favors, but like anything else — there's far more satisfaction when you DIY. 

After much internal brainstorming, I found the inspiration for a beautiful shower that would be made possible on a budget.

Centerpieces

I wanted the centerpieces to be simple, pretty and inexpensive for my bridal shower at the Craftsman Inn. 

Touches of gold will be featured in my wedding day ensemble and throughout the entire wedding, so I also wanted to incorporate this into the shower's theme. 

Less is more. Since the brunch being served during the shower was the top priority, I didn't want the centerpieces to clutter the tables.

Monograms are big in the bridal scene and this was a fun opportunity to feature one gold "F" on each table. I rounded up 10 cardboard craft letters ($2.49 each) and one can of gold spray paint. A little bit of powdery glitter and six bags of clear crystals and jewels ($2.99 a bag) and the centerpieces were ready to go!

Favors

Have you ever gone to a party — a wedding, a shower or even a birthday party — where you received a favor that you knew you wouldn't use? With my focus on pretty and practical for the favors, I knew that I wanted to provide something that would be a useful keepsake. 

In addition to the useful coffee mug (100 mugs for under $100) that would feature a simple design, the favor would include one of my favorite things — coffee! The coffee was not only a "must" because it's one of my favorite beverages, but it was purchased from Cafe at 407, which benefits a non-profit (Ophelia's Place) that I support as a body image advocate and also as a board member.

I bought five pounds of Guatemalan coffee beans ($64.95) from Cafe at 407 to fill burlap bags. Since I couldn't locate any cost-effective bags — a few rolls of burlap material (Buy 1 Get 1 at $4.99) were transformed into burlap bags...after a very motivated bridesmaid sewed them!

Enough coffee beans for a couples cups of coffee were placed in each burlap bag and then tied with some tan and gold ribbon (a few rolls totaling $6) with a "thank you" tag personally stamped by yours truly. 

The coffee not only looked great in the burlap, but it smelled divine and of course, it was delicious!

Brooches

OK, so I did not make any brooches, but I did include my bridal shower guests in a very special wedding moment.

Along with the shower invitation, guests also received a little instruction. I asked each guest to bring either a jewel or a gem, a pair of sparkly earrings or a brooch — all pieces that will eventually be used to create my wedding day brooch bouquet. I also specified a few colors to keep in mind: gold, tangerine, fuchsia pink and light yellow.

Many guests surprised me with their heartfelt gestures by bringing me a grandmother's brooch, a jewelry piece that they wore to a special occasion, and many others that included a personal message or a note that explained why the piece was "meant to be" for my wedding day.

In the end, this will become a DIY project that will truly hold a special place in my heart when I walk down the aisle on May 2, 2015.


Until the big day...

I look forward to the final months of planning, and also the anticipation.

Most of all — I am grateful to have my loving family and friends surrounding me as I approach the day I will marry my wonderful husband-to-be.

Until my next post, be beautiful and genuine ― in other words, be you!

Bride-to-be Farah F. Jadran shares her wedding plans, interests and other delightful happenings on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Pinterest — @FarahJadran.